Now and then I sit back and remember one of the stories my Uncle Emil told me. Sometimes as a little boy on his knee. Sometimes in his Lund when we were out fishing. I was a dumb kid - no, make that an innocent kid - and usually took him at his word. In my mind, the mental picture he was painting for me was gospel. Who was I to doubt him? Simply being around his laugh and the way he carried smiles in his pocket and put them on the faces of those he met wherever he went, told me he was something special.
Seems I was his outlet for the oddities that arose in his brain but couldn't be let out back in those older, more proper times. I'd listen and quickly fall in step with his line of questionable logic. Yes, he was planting seeds in my mind. Don't know if that was intentional but those seeds came to sprout, then grow to the beautiful weeds now living between my ears. As I said before, I can't really say where those thoughts come from. Could be Emil (At 63, I think I'm old enough to call him that once in a while). Could be me. But mostly I believe the weirdness comes from the same place for me as it did for Emil. More than that I can't say 'cause I'd only be guessing.
What kind of things? Well, things kind of like yesterday. Lois and I were walking at the Mall of America. Can't say I'm fond of walking at the mall but Lois isn't a fan of cold weather. Seeing as how it's January in Minnesota, if we're gonna go for a walk together.... During a ten second period several facts got together in my brain, danced around for a moment or two, liked what they saw, then let me in on their idea of fun. On January 4th the Mega Millions jackpot rose to $355 million dollars. What could a person do with all that money? On New Year's Eve and Day, the Sci-Fi Channel ran its traditional twenty-four hours of Twilight Zone Episodes. Same old classics. Fun to watch in snatches and to marvel at how young William Shatner once was. During commercial breaks, the ASPCA ran videos of sad faced dogs and cats staring imploringly at the camera through the bars of their cages, with appropriate background music setting the mood.
Putting those two things together and adding a couple of seasonings I blurted out to Lois that if I won the lottery I'd buy up each and every one of those poor beasts. I'd treat them to the best couple of days of their lives. I'd be a regular Canine and Feline Mother Teresa of Minneapolis. Of course, to complete the Mother Teresa analogy, those few days of pleasure would have to be the last of their little lives. The City of Minneapolis has this humongous wood chipper powered by a Detroit Diesel truck engine. Ain't nothin' like the deep throated grumble of a Detroit Diesel turning a mature elm tree to powder. Well, you get the idea. After our visit to the chipper, the kitties and puppies would be squeezed into twelve cubic foot blocks, flash frozen and used to build this year's ice palace on Lake Phalen for the St. Paul Winter Carnival. Act of love between the Twin Cities.
Poor, poor puppies. Poor, poor kitties.
Oops. Did I say something wrong again? Take it up with Emil.
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